


Wassail

by BairnSidhe



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Drunk caroling, Dwarves do not get heteronormativity, Literally everyone can tell, M/M, Nori may have rufied Dwalin, The One Ring is Bad News, hobbits are strange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-05 11:13:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5373260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BairnSidhe/pseuds/BairnSidhe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dwalin and Ori attempt the Shire tradition of Wassailing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wassail

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Stevie_Foxx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stevie_Foxx/gifts).



> Another festive Songfic!
> 
> Thanks to Stevie_Foxx for the idea.
> 
> Prompts are open.

_Here we come a-wassailing_  
_Among the leaves so green;_  
_Here we come a-wand'ring_  
_So fair to be seen._

“Dwalin, it’s winter, the leaves are gone.”

“Aye, but you’re fair to see.”

“Why did I let Nori get the drinks?”  
  
_Love and joy come to you,_  
_And to you your wassail too;_  
_And Eru bless you and send you a Happy New Year_  
_And Eru send you a Happy New Year._

“Wait, Durin’s Day was weeks ago…”

“Hobbits celebrate New Year on Longnight.”

“Tha’s weird.”

“You’re drunk Dwalin.”  
  
_Our wassail cup is made_  
_Of the rosemary tree,_  
_And so is your beer_  
_Of the best barley._  
  
“We have a wassail cup?”

“Yes. Bifur made it. Out of rosemary wood.  Didn’t know that was a thing.”

“Why?”

“Tradition.  Hobbit thing, I dunno.”

“You are very drunk.”  
  
_We are not daily beggars_  
_That beg from door to door;_  
_But we are neighbors’ children,_  
_Whom you have seen before._  
  
“Technically, none of our parents are Bilbo and Thorin’s neighbors, and we're both adults.”

“M’ a’dad and a’mad used to live down the hall from Thrain’s family.”

“Not going there, not with you this drunk.”

  
_Call up the butler of this house,_  
 _Put on his golden ring._  
 _Let him bring us up a glass of beer,_  
 _And better we shall sing._  
  
“But the only one in the house with a gold ring is Bilbo.”

“Tha’ thing gives me the shale-slides. ‘S creepy.”

“Nori kinda wants it, but I told him it was cursed.”

“Would believe tha’.” __  
  
_We have got a little purse_  
_Of stretching leather skin;_  
_We want a little of your money_  
_To line it well within._  
  
“Wait…you’re sure this is a proper Hobbit song?”

“That’s what it said in the book.”

“No accounting for Hobbits, then.  Bit rude seemin’.”

“Hobbits like giving stuff.  Also, you’re drunk, they’ll forgive you.” __  
  
_Bring us out a table_  
_And spread it with a cloth;_  
_Bring us out a mouldy cheese,_  
_And some of your Longnight loaf._  
  
“Why do we want moldy cheese?”

“Special mold, apparently tastes good.  Go with it Ori.” __  
  
_God bless the master of this house_  
_Likewise the mistress too,_  
_And all the little children_  
_That round the table go._  
  
“There are two masters and only one child.”

“Yer chip-picking, Ori.  ‘S an old song.”

“I suppose, but maybe they’ll actually open the door if we change it.  I’m cold.”

“You’re the scribe, you change it.” __  
  
_Good master and good burglar,_  
_While you're sitting by the fire,_  
_Pray think of us poor Dwarves_  
_Who are wandering in the mire._  
  
“Ori! Dwalin!! Whatever are you doing out in this weather?  Do come in.”

“Than’s Bilbo.  Bout froze off my hammer and coals, ye read me right?”

“He’s very drunk.  I think Nori slipped him something.  We came to wassail you and Thorin.  Where is he?”

“Ummm…he’s getting changed.  There was an incident with some mistletoe and…”

“And we should give our guests something to drink right Ghivashel?”

“Quite.”

_Love and joy come to you,_  
_And to you your wassail too;_  
_And Eru bless you and send you a Happy New Year_  
_And Eru send you a Happy New Year._


End file.
